Sunday, January 10, 2010

The not so 'super'markets

Look away now if you can't deal with a rant today, sorry but I feel the need, the need to rant!


Shall I count the ways in which I hate them?

Fasten your seat belts, I'm going in:

  1. Teeny weeny itsy bitsy trolleys, fit a whole weeks shop in a German trolley? In Your Dreams!
  2. Lack of choice, I was used to having a choice of several brands + store's own for EVERYTHING, here? You get a lot of choice for obscure things - I think maybe dependant on the store manager, so if he/she likes honey then there are shelves of it (I'm not joking) or marmelade ditto, haven't found the 'super'market with a manager who has a predilection for Cadbury chocolate yet...I shall carry on the search
  3. Manky veg, you have to carefully examine all fruit and veg, you cannot assume that if it's on display it's suitable for consumption - especially irritating with a net bag of clementines or satsumas - finding one in the middle has gone all squishy and icky after you've emptied them all into the fruit bowl does not a happy bunny make.
  4. Sell by and eat by dates, should be used to checking these before parting with hard earned (by Simon) cash by now, always remember to with yoghurts, but the naan bread bought yesterday was over a week past it's best by date (which is what has tipped me screaming over the edge) good job I'd bought some pitta bread as well eh, - with a much longer date on the packet, I'm guessing the Germans use pitta bread more than they do naan...can't say I'm surprised, there are very few Indian restaurants here and even fewer that are worth spending money at.
  5. Grumpy staff, they say 'morgen' and the like, enough to serve you, but cheerful? I can think of 2 members of staff who aren't grumpy and that's it. Surly would be a better word for it or miserable...
  6. Grubby shops, of the 6 'super'markets I could use easily only one is sparkly like pretty much all of the ones in the UK are, and that's because it hasn't been open more than a year, it has great wide aisles where you don't panic if there's a trolley coming towards you in the opposite direction, and bright lighting that illuminates everything encouraging you to 'buy me'. All the other shops are slightly dingey and grubby (and that's not including the likes of Aldi, Lidl or (shudder) Plus)
  7. The checkout assistants seem to think that it's a challenge to get all your shopping over the scanner and down the other conveyor as quickly as possible, so that everything is heaped up at the end or (as happened yesterday) mixed in with the previous person's shopping because they were so slow in finding the right money to pay for their shopping.
  8. The expected procedure at the checkout is to load everything you're buying after scanning back into your trolley and then put it into your bags at your car or at the back of the 'super'market, try to load it into your bags straight from the till/scanner and you get a look that says 'ausländer'.
  9. The basic selection of toiletries that is available in the 'super'markets here, OK, fine if I could guarantee that the Schlecker (kind of a down at heel Boots cum Superdrug) round the corner might have what I want but more often than not it doesn't.
  10. The truly revolting, vomit inducing smell that lingers permanently just past the fish counter on the way into the strong spirits section in my local Rewe (yes, I confess, I am scraping the bottom of the barrel with this point as it does only relate to one specific shop, but it is a disgusting smell that has been there ever since we moved here (I hold my breath as I go past) and I did think 10 points was a nice round number, so much more attractive than 9) I think maybe they keep the smell to stop people lingering in the strong spirits section...
Phew. I'm glad I've got that out of my system...and is there anything I really like about German not so super supermarkets? Yes. But that's not for today...I need a while to think up 10 points!!!

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