Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Dentist Barbie

I was at the dentist yesterday, for almost 3 hours. 3 hours (thank goodness I'd had the forethought to take my phone fully loaded with unlistened to podcasts)!! I shall be popping pills till Friday I reckon while my jaw recovers...

There was nothing dramatic going on, it's just that ever since coming to Germany and visiting this particular dentist she's been banging on and on about replacing my amalgam fillings. They're not pretty I know (or at least they weren't) but they were quite possibly state of the art when they went in, they're all pretty old (that makes it sound as though I have a filling in every tooth in my head but I swear I don't, ok, I have more than 1 filling, but I defy any adult my age to show me a full set of perfect teeth, there are a few of you out there, those poor kids who were never allowed sweets and who were chained to the bathroom sink until they'd brushed their teeth for 5 minutes after every meal)

I've out it off and put it off, partly because I couldn't quite see the point in it and also because Rebecca goes to the same dentist, had had the same ongoing 'discussion' with Barbie (will explain in due course) but because she's been here almost a year longer than we have succumbed sooner. Anyway Rebecca reported that the discomfort of having the nasty amalgam fillings replaced was such that her teeth were on edge for months afterwards (oh god, I've only just remembered she said that...) the reason being that the replacement procedure isn't just drill out nasty amalgam filling and apply sparkly new white ones, oh no, I'm sure in the UK it still works like that but here? Not a chance.

Step 1. Drill out old fillings (after injection of course - she offers to do it without an injection, I just laugh at her)
Step 2. Make moulds of teeth (a truly unpleasant but not painful procedure - I thought I was going to gag while she was holding the mould in my mouth for 3 minutes, that would have gone down so well wouldn't it? Vomiting all over the mould & Barbie's hands - at least they were latex clad)
Step 3. Put in temporary fillings (!)
Step 4. 1 week later, drill out temporary fillings.
Step 5. Apply the new ceramic fillings/crowns whatever they are

Steps 4 & 5 I'm guessing at, as that happens next week. In the meantime I get to live with the temporary fillings for a week and have been told not to eat anything too crunchy, like nuts...(remebered this warning as I was eating my cereal earlier - crunchy nut cereal...oops)
Whatever, I get 2 trips to the dentist, 2 lots of injections (don't you just hate that numb mouth you're left with afterwards when you can't tell whether you're dribbling or not?) and 2 lots of drilling. Good job I'm not scared of the dentist eh?

As for Dentist Barbie, this is her's Barbie in everything but the clothing don't you think? Fortunately she's very nice, speaks English (which helps a great deal, although I had to translate the word 'torture' for her when I was trying to be humorous - prior to treatment!) and clearly makes enough money inflicting pain in Kettwig to take expensive holidays and run a flashy car, but then it is her own dental practice...

No comments: