I've always known I'd never be good at working within the medical field.
I was very good at A level biology, very good, and passable at degree level Zoology.
Not quite clever enough or with a good enough memory to make the grade as a doctor, and a nurse? Clever enough - yes, compassionate enough - no, add to this a weak stomach that makes me turn away the moment anything even on a TV screen gets the least bit icky - definitely no.
I have never, ever entertained ideas of being a nurse or a doctor, I think somewhere, deep within me I knew that I'm not compassioante enough. It's not that I don't care, it's just that my care gets worn out very quickly...
This week for example. Week 2 of Jas being off school, ill. I know she didn't do it on purpose and I know that she doesn't enjoy being stuck home, inside, too weak to play but after 10 days of having to jump for her every whim....I'm "mommy'd" out.
Fetching glasses of water, ribena, tissues, heating up the cherry stone pillow (great for pain relief) pencil case from school bag, biscuit, grapes...you name it and I seem to have run and got it over the last 2 weeks. But when I finally started to snap was after having to get up 3 times in a night (2 lots of reheating cherry stone pillow & 1 nose bleed) so I was tired and cranky at breakfast (ok, more cranky than usual) and to then have the refrain of 'mom....can I have...' start before I'd had ANY caffeine whatsoever...it wasn't pretty.
How do doctors and nurses do it? They always seem to be so loving and caring, genuinely interested in your welfare, they must be wired differently to me, Florence Nightingale I'm not.
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