Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Sex Education

German style
  1. Transport a class of pre(just)pubescent high school kids from their sleepy little town into the big city centre by train for the morning (afterall that's how long school lasts here)
  2. Split them into boys and girls and send them to different classrooms (from here on most of the information is somewhat biased as I only have a male child available for interrogation purposes)
  3. Split the groups again into smaller groups and give each a (very) large piece of paper and some pens, get them to draw around a willing victim.
  4. Tell them to then annotate the outline of the victim with what happens during puberty - one of the drawings ending up looking like a monkey it had grown so much body hair, it also gained balls more suitable to kicking around a footie pitch, bloodshot eyes(!) and stinky armpits.
  5. Ask the boys what they know about sex, don't be surprised when many verbs are mentioned (I'm sure my son's knowledge of German vocab has been expanded yet again)
  6. Play a game where all the boys take it in turns to throw a tennis ball to one another, this sounds more like sports than sex education to me.
  7. Don't be surprised when at break time the majority of the students leg it to McDonalds, a couple go for ice creams and one shopaholic buys shoes

I had been expecting him to be learning about condom use and practising how to put one on a banana (that's what I was told to expect) but no, Ben says that if that had been the case one kid would certainly have knicked one and the others would have used them for water bombs.

When asked 'did you learn much then?' I was told no, although he did admit to having more fun than he would have done in normal lessons...

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