Monday, June 20, 2011

Bekloppt #2

It's a year (I checked) since I did 'Bekloppt #1' and therefore it's time for part 2! And more supporting evidence for why I believe the Germans to be bonkers.

- I was walking Logan with a friend last week when we met a guy walking his dachshund and some other larger hound. Man asks what my dog's called. Logan, I answer, thinking it's an odd question and why? He rabbits on about his sister and her dog or something (I only asked because I didn't think he should get away scot free with such a question, I wasn't actually interested) my friend then went onto to tell him that Logan was a retriever. To which the guy made a disbelieving noise and commented that Logan was an odd colour for a retriever...that'd be my GOLDEN retriever who is GOLDEN as opposed to these washed out white dogs that are Golden Retrievers in name only, pah!

- I have ranted many times about the (not)supermarkets here. After four years I'm used to them and quite honestly the size and choice and hospitality of the supermarkets in the UK scares me now. I was in Kaisers on Saturday, had my new, big (for the beach) basket with me and as the crazy, whirling dervish checkout person scanned my stuff (I didn't have heaps, just what I suddenly realised I didn't have to make tea on Saturday or Sunday - oops) I planned to load everything into the basket there and then (instead of the usual routine which is to dump everything back into the trolley and then decant into bags in the boot of the car - a huge faff) With any other checkout person this would have been fine, but this creature seemed to be on speed, she wanged my stuff so fast down the conveyor that the customer before me nearly took my tomatoes and the woman after me almost got my tortillas. In the midst of this chaos, as I'm trying to throw stuff into my basket without crushing crushable stuff and without losing anything, this fiend says;
"einmal in ruhe"
Which translates as "let's calm down".
Fine, but I didn't start it, she did!

- A friend was moving offices and scrounged a plastic carrier bag from a colleague. Nothing unusual in that. It was a freebie bag from a shop called DM (imagine Boots without the nice stuff, no polish and shine and no pharmacy either come to that - we're talking basic, more like Supadrug maybe) and in a lot of shops you pay for the plastic bags but the DM ones are cheap and thin and free. My friend was grateful for the use of the bag but probably forgot all about it. A week or so later she bumped into the bag lender who asked if he could have his bag back...I have a drawer full of plastic bags (a sign that I spend too much time shopping?) I'd give them away to good (or not so good, actually, I have that many) homes.

- Friend A was asked by Annika which mobile network she was with and from the answer she received decided that they were on the same network and therefore she could phone Friend A for free. A month later and Annika got her phone bill with charges on it from phoning Friend A (still with me?) So she confronts Friend A accusing her of giving her dud information and without actually asking for hard cash, pretty much implied that the size of the bill was all the fault of Friend A. I'm hoping and praying Friend A stands her ground and isn't guilt tripped into donating to Annika's phone bill.

- Friend B recently moved house, the move was set to take several days because the removal company were not only moving the stuff but also packing and unpacking. (German) friends asked whether she wanted a hand in feeding the men...apparently one of these friends had even provided her removal men with breakfast. I've moved several times in the UK and the most that removal men there expect is coffee and tea - admittedly it pretty much has to be drip fed caffeine and the kettle is literally the last thing to be packed and the first item off the wagon, but food as well? I don't think so! Madness.

So what d'you think? Are they crazier than a box of frogs? More evidence will be forthcoming, you can bet on it!

Word of the day; you bet, that... - wetten, dass*

* Wetten, dass... is a TV programme here that has been running since the times of John Logie Baird, and despite the final goodbye from Thomas Gottschalk on Saturday night, it will continue (I'm skipping with joy) not that I shall be watching (shudder).

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