Today I'm tired.
Two cups of tea and I'm still tired.
I'm also giving the dog the cold shoulder.
Anyone care to give a truly stupid retriever a good home?
Lovely dog, apart from the fact that he should be prosecuted under the trade's description act for the fact that he doesn't retrieve. Oh, and he has a bad habit (apart from the eating of anything that could remotely pass as food) he needs to go to the loo in the middle of the night. Which would be fine, if he slept outside, but he doesn't.
I get woken by a single, solitary "WOOOOFFFF" - this from the dog that doesn't bark at the postman, at strangers, at nasty yappy little dogs or great lumbering testosterone fuelled humping machines (more commonly known as labradors, who can be lovely, when castrated or controlled by their doting owner - which doesn't seem to happen in my neck of the woods.)
Oh no, he never barks, apart from when he's decided, in the middle of the night to wake me (note that it's only ever me that is woken, I wonder whether being a mother and being attuned to a baby's cry ensures that one is evermore sensitive to a plaintive nighttime cry?)
3.30am I had to get up and let the stupid hound out, wait for him and then let him back in. He happily trotted back to bed and doubtless was instantly asleep, chasing squirrels and foraging for food in his dreams. While I spent an hour tossing and turning, listening to Simon's peaceful sleep (he used to snore but has clearly learnt not to after being turned black and blue) while my brain skipped around analysing stuff done yesterday and stuff to do today. I practised my yogic breathing for a while to try to still my brain - didn't work, at least I didn't start counting types of cheese (which is what my brother does).
At 4am I was wide awake.
So why is it when the alarm goes off at 6.30am, waking me from an unpleasant dream involving work in a supermarket and cyborgs who were taking over the world I was knackered? Where was the wide awakeness of 4am? Where did it go? I need it back because two cups of caffeine are not enough!