The Adventskaffee Ordeal

In the UK schooling system Christmas is a time for the whole school to get together and show the parents what they can do, in the lower schools there are nativity shows, with older children there tend to be carol services and concerts.

In Germany of course it's different, the classes tend not to co-ordinate together as a school and so there no nativity and no huge concert, instead we get lots of little individual class 'fests' such as the one we had to attend yesterday...

Last year we escaped the ordeal because Simon was in hospital and needed visiting...this year I'd planned not to go - Ben has a golf lesson at that time, perfect excuse I thought, but no, Ben was told in no uncertain terms by his teacher that he had to be there as he had one of the larger parts in the class recitation of the Grinch (which, as the only native English speaker in the class was logical) so we had to go...Ben wasn't amused, he didn't want me to go either and then he found out that Si could also come - his world was complete! (Ben's wearing the seasonal yellow t-shirt)

We all had to take either something to eat or drink (of the coffee/juice/water variety - I'd have shown more interest if Glühwein had been mentioned as at Jasmine's laternefest) I took the time to make mince pies, the Germans have many different cake/biscuit varieties that are specific to Christmas, so I thought they should get something English, I was quite pleased with them - the German parents weren't sure what to make of them, especially when told that they contain 'mince meat'...

The actual event took place in 6b's classroom, all the tables reorganised and decorated and covered in food for the parents to sit and chat at while the show got underway (some of the parents don't even stop exchanging gossip when the children are performing) and then it started, we were treated to a small choir of female students (boys at that age don't want to sing) who sang a couple of German Christmas songs, then there was chaos as a couple of girls argued amongst themselves as to who as performing the next piece, the eventual girl with the flute threw a strop when she couldn't play it to her satisfaction, then another piece with two girls and two guitars and another strop, a boy and a piano gave us the highlight - he was amazing (and according to Ben that's not even the best that he can play) and then the Grinch.
The whole class stood in a row, each stepping forward to recite from memory their sentence, some spoken so quickly I couldn't understand what they were saying and nearly all with an American accent - apart from my dear Ben of course - I'd made him practice saying it slowly and clearly, if he can't shine during an English recitation when can he? And then it was over...

I had a little chat with Ben's teacher before we escaped, she thinks the children pick up the American accent from movies (which is odd as ALL movies are dubbed here) so I offered her our extensive collection of British DVD's - Blackadder, Monty Python, Outnumbered, Fawlty Towers, Little Britain... We also hatched a plan that if she wants me to go into the class during an English lesson I'd be happy to oblige - but sssshhhhh, OK? Ben mustn't find out, he'll be mortified!!

When will I be grown up?

At what age are you considered an adult?

The actual chronological age for this maturity seems to vary from country to country and even within a country there are many different age levels that have to be reached in order to do something legally...

Smoking, voting, babysitting, leaving home, driving a motorbike, a moped, a car, an HGV, having sex, buying a lottery ticket, working - all have different ages at which they become legally available to you, but when do you actually feel like a fully paid up member of the grownups?

Legally in Britain you can smoke at 18, in fact after the age of 18 there's nothing you can't do, so you must be an adult then...but from the age of 13 you're allowed to work a certain number of hours per week and after 16 you can buy a lottery ticket, work full-time and even get married.

The legal age of consent is an interesting one as it varies drastically throughout the world, with some countries having different ages for male and female and some saying they have to be married...the lowest age I found was 12 (gulp) in the Philipines and Mexico, most were 16, while dependant on which US state you're in you might be legal or not...and worryingly I've just discovered that the legal age in Germany is 14...

The next tricky one for me personally is driving, in Germany kids can legally ride scooters - a Mofa, with a max. speed of 25 km/h (16 mph) & only the driver is allowed on the bike, from the age of 15, no license is required, but a written test has to be completed (gulp) Loads of the kids at Ben's gymnasium have mofa's and mopeds...I can hear the arguments already and he's only 12!
Whilst the legal age for driving a car in Germany is 18, the same as for most countries (apart from the UK which is 17, and Australia where it varies from state to state - how mad is that?)

And so to drinking, again this varies hugely, from 15 in Tunisia to 21 in North America and 25 in Delhi and in Germany they can drink beer at 16 and distilled alcohol at 18 while in Britain it's 18 across the board.

But at what age are you a grown up?

I had this conversation with a friend recently (it was probably late at night following too many martinis...as you will realise by the profound reasoning that followed)
Both of us are a long way away from any of the above mentioned age restrictions, married and with children (which should make us feel our age) but neither of us feel like grown ups, not proper grown ups - we are both aware that come the Xmas hols and we find ourselves watching a film with our parents, we know we will cringe when there's a sex scene.
So my startling discovery was that I don't think I will ever feel like a fully paid up member of the grown ups club while I have someone I can ring and start the call with 'Mommm' or 'Dadddd' in that childlike whine.

I just found a great quote:
You don't stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop laughing.

I better go buy M&D the full set of Blackadder and Monty Python on DVD!!

Christmas...sorted

Ha! Take that Santa!

I think, I'm fairly certain that I've done the Christmas present shopping...

Maybe just a few deliveries from Amazon and the like to arrive, but I don't think I need to join the mad throngs in the centre of Essen again before Christmas.

I think I might be done.

I think I've even got a present for the 'hardest man on earth to buy for', - but I can't possibly disclose here what I may or may not have purchased as I can't be sure that he wont read this, seeing as I've given him the link and all, I have to admit that it is unlikely though, as Simon is not a man who reads, well, ok, yes, he reads, but not by choice, not books (although that doesn't stop me buying them for him!) his literary matter of choice is the (whisper it) magazine...cars/gadgets things like that, a complete philistine.

I guess I won't know for sure (whether I have a gift for everyone) until I've wrapped everything and labelled everything - that's when it sometimes becomes frighteningly clear that someone has been forgotten - moral of that story; don't leave the wrapping until Christmas Eve, because then it's far too late to do anything about it!!

As I was doing the last of my shopping today I was struck by the number of shops where the assistant offers to gift wrap it for you, although whether this is einpacken or verpacken I can't remember, one means to wrap something up and one means to wrap something up as a present (don't be surprised that there's a special word for wrapping a present, this is the language that has a word for the giving of a present - geschenken, in case you're interested) Anyway, I took one shop up on their offer of wrapping, as the thing I was buying was big and would use up way too much of my wrapping paper, so why not use theirs (I did have to almost shove my hands in my pockets though as the guy was wrapping the gift, I would have been so much quicker...)
In a bookshop the assistant asked me if I wanted my purchases (books, surprisingly & not a single one for Simon) wrapped, I turned and stared at the long queue, all waiting patiently for the wrapping service and declined...I don't need to save my wrapping paper that badly!

Simon gets off lightly on Christmas present duty, all he is tasked with doing is buying for me (& I give him a pretty comprehensive list) and for his father - twice (he has the misfortune to have been a December baby) and then of course he gets to wrap them - which is...amusing, he got out of it last year, by being in hospital, sick, so my mother took pity on him and offered to wrap the presents for him (he'd managed to do the actual shopping via the internet from his hospital bed, you didn't think he'd been organised and done it early did you?)
I get to buy presents for everyone else, my parents, his sister, his mother, all godchildren and friends as well, my family, our children, him...the list goes on...

But it's done now.

Fertig.

Schluss.


ps: happy birthday Dad!!

rain rain go away

and I shan't add the next line of 'and come again another day', 'cos I don't want it now and I really don't want it another day.

Enough already!!

It seemed to me that it rained all of November and now December looks set to carry on the trend.
Germans like to remark to us Brits that we should be used to this 'English weather' - a comment that doesn't go down well.
And then we have to put up with Aussie friends whining about the grey sky, but that we (Brits) should be used to it...
That's as maybe, but it doesn't mean we have to like it or even that we're used to it.
We're all just sick of it. Where are the crisp frosts and blue skies of winter? Why do we have to have this godawful wet all the time?

There are only a few good things about the rainy weather (that I can think of anyway)

• my car looks clean (ish)
• the reservoirs are full to overflowing
• umbrella sales are up (I would imagine)

Let's compare that list with the bad things (imho) about this crappy crappy wetness

• my house smells permanently of wet dog
• I get pleading phone calls from 12 year old asking to be collected from school
• the pond under the trampoline is in danger of becoming a permanent fixture, maybe we should get fish?
• plans to go out have to be subject to change, you can't rely on the weather forecast
• the river is soon to burst its banks - will confuse the dog (not that that's hard)
• there are always wet coats and umbrellas drying somewhere in the house
• the Christmas markets don't have quite the same charm in the pouring rain as they do on a cold frosty day
• it's depressing

I've been given a 'recipe' for an anti-rain dance...I might have to use it!