Lilliput

My world is shrinking around me, contracting like heated cellophane and there I was thinking smugly that the word might be vast but at least it was open and easily accessible to me, so it didn't matter if I lived in Germany or Guatemala, as long as I had access to the internet and an airport, then I could get what I needed/fly to where I needed to be.

Hah!

Don't you just hate it when the rules are changed or the goalposts moved, but it's possibly worse when this happens and no-one tells you to expect the change, then there's no opportunity of halting such a change (even if I had power) it's a fait accomlpi.

Reading to me is a necessity of life, like breathing or a supply of chocolate or caffeine, essential. Without a book to read I am bereft. It's what I do in any moment of down time and what I do whenever I can (MIL very kindly bought me a little tapestry kit thingy of a golden retriever, because it looks like Logan, well it will when it's done, except it will never be done because if I'm at a loose end I read, even if I'm not at a loose end I read. The only time I don't have a book ready to be opened is when I've finished one and am allowing it to 'settle' before moving on to the next. I am a voracious reader.

Moving to Germany has made the acquisition of reading matter trickier, it requires more planning because surprisingly* the German bookshops have only a small percentage of their shelves turned over to 'foreign' literature, so my browsing along the shelves and inhaling of print has been curtailed.
For a while Amazon benefitfed from this problem and then Simon surprised me with a Sony eReader. It was love at first sight (once I'd got past trying to turn the pages over) hundreds of books in one little package that is smaller than any respectable novel, the only downside is that you can't use it on an airplane when the seatbelt light is on.
Now I could get books from anywhere, what with the internet being all reaching and all, I didn't have to fly to the US to buy books there, I could do it from my kitchen worktop with a cup of coffee in one hand and my Visa card in the other. Bliss.

But as I said, my world has started to close in on me, and I do wonder how close it's going to get.

I have had, in the past, many books from Waterstones, my account is registered to my German address and I pay with sterling from my UK bank account. But no more. Last week I had a shocking email from Waterstones. I was so shocked that I left it a day or two before replying to it (because I felt that I had to reply to it, because if you don't register your point of view, you have no right to then sound off about it**) The email I received said;

"We see from our records that you have previously purchased an eBook from Waterstones.com whilst having a registered address outside of the UK and Ireland.

We regret that as of 20th October 2010, we are no longer able to sell eBooks to customers placing an order from anywhere outside of the UK and Ireland. We have had to take this action to comply with the legal demands of publishers regarding the territories into which we can sell eBooks.

Please accept our sincere apologies for any inconvenience that this may cause."

I wasn't going to take that lying down, I can tell you. So I enlisted the help of my dad (who's always keen to cock a snook at those in authority) who had a credit card registered to him in the UK that he doesn't use. Tee hee.

Damn and blast those sneaky Waterstones peeps. They can tell my IP address is not in the UK. Good job there are other eBookstores eh?! Might have to go on a bit of a buying spree though just in case that loophole is tightened around me too.

And I thought free speech was part and parcel of a free world? Clearly you have to be prepared to read that speech in the native language of the country in which you reside (or make do with the restricted choice available on their eBook shelves (don't envy the choice of titles my brother living in Libya will have left open to him)

A thought though, how does Kindle get around this? Their big selling point is that you can buy books WHEREVER you are...sneaky deals or ignorant bliss?

Right, enough typing, where's my book?



* please note the sarcasm, I doubt there are many English bookshops with even 1 shelf turned over to 'foreign' literature.
**probably not the gospel, just the way I feel.

A (not so) tall tale.

There's a great story going around town at the moment.

Si heard it from a colleague at a meeting last week and then heard from another colleague (who lives outside of Kettwig) about it, and even my hairdresser (who lives in the next town along the river) has heard about it, so it must be true right?

This is the way the story goes...

There's a family in Kettwig with a teenage son, who is either Downs syndrome or autistic (depending on the person who heard/tells the tale).
The boy was at home and rang his mother in her office at work.

"Come home now" he tells her "There's a troll in the house"
Naturally the mother didn't believe him.

"Mom, you've got to come home, I've caught a troll" the boy was insistent, and so reluctantly the mother went home.

Her son took her to the bathroom where he'd locked his troll.

The mother was greeted by the sight of a dwarf/little person* who wasn't very amused.

"thank god you're here" he said "I've been trapped here for hours"

It turns out the dwarf/little person worked for the circus which was in town for the holidays and he was going from door to door, drumming up business, a walking advert for the circus.
All had been fine until the teenager had answered the door and believed he had the opportunity to catch a mythical creature!


* I'm trying to be PC here, and according to wiki in the US & Canada people of particularly short stature prefer the term 'little people' but 'dwarf' isn't pejorative whilst 'midget' is...

Sunday Snaps 36

Today is Hallowe'en.
The antics for the teens trick or treating has been going on all week, with the emphasis heavily on the trick side...I'll let you know how it goes, but in the meantime here are our pumpkins, 1 carved by Jas and 1 by me - can you guess which is which?

It's here

Autumn, that is. I shouldn't be surprised afterall it is nearly the end of October, summer is well and truly gone and so the next season is autumn (unless the crazy weather is deciding to skip the inbetweeny seasons and jump straight to winter - I do hope not)

I have decided that there are ways you can tell that Herbst is Hier*, there are certain signs in Germany that make it obvious;

- the children are all wearing multiple layers, the German kids that is, they all come fully equipped with vest, shirt, jumper/sweatshirt, trousers, jacket, scarf & probably hat and don't forget the all important 'winter boots' which are usually fleecy lined and fully waterproof. My son meanwhile scoots out of the house in just a t-shirt and hoodie, mothers of his friends have all given up remonstrating with him and me, when they pass comment I just shrug and remind them that we're English and hardier than your average German.
- all the house proud hausfrauen** have removed their pretty summer flower displays from their doorsteps and replaced them with squash, I'd say pumpkins to help you understand what I mean but these displays are never just large orange hallowe'en stylee pumpkins, oh no, these are squash in as many varieties, colours and shapes as there are hours in the day. This is not something I indulge in, but as our official front door is at the back of the house and most people come in and out through the kitchen door, no-one (hopefully) realizes - not that I care to be honest.
- all the cafés still have their outside seating set ups but with the addition of blankets over every seat, so you can get your caffeine fix (and probably cake too) as well as getting your fresh air (although you will probably be a getting a good few lungfuls of 2nd hand nicoteine)
- some of the smaller eis cafés have shut for their winter break, all packed away until next spring, this doesn't mean that it's hard to get ice cream, Kettwig (tiny little place that it is) has at least 4 eis cafés and only 1 actually shuts up shop in October - of course it would have to be the one closest to where we live but fortunately I don't have the German ice cream gene.
- the furs are out, already, and it's not even proper cold yet. Admittedly these were more gillet style (armless, waistcoaty things) as opposed to full on jackets/coats but they were definately fur, real, dead animal fur, none of this fake stuff here.
- Glühwein is back on the menu, the summer cocktails of Aperol and prosecco are banished to the store cupboard and instead we are offered cheap red wine made palatable only by the addition of cloves and cinnamon sticks. Fortunately Lulu's has martinis on the cocktail list all year round.
- the leaf blowers are busy. I've commented previously that Germany is very green with lots and lots of mature trees around, most of which, it becomes apparent at this time of year, are deciduous and so cover the footpaths everywhere in a carpet of leaves. Until that is a little man from the council comes along with a reverse hoover on his shoulder, he's followed quick smart by a teletubby-alike vehicle which then removes any evidence. Needless to say this has to happen more than once as not even the Germans have managed to co-ordinate nature. They even clear the paths in the woods (!) but not quickly enough for MIL's liking (like they even clear the leaves away in England?!)
- the cars are all being uglied, winter tyres are not mandatory here, but if you were foolish enough to have an accident between October and whenever Easter falls***and didn't have winter tyres on then you would struggle to get your insurance company to not think you responsible, at least that's what I'm told, it could just be an urban myth, but I'm not about to check it.

So that's it, autumn is HERE, next stop Christmas, hang on to your hats!


* not a typo btw, hier is deutsch for here, honest, you can check it hier if you don't believe me.
** again not a typo, frauen is the plural of frau.
*** the unofficial 'rule' is that winter tyres should be worn from O to O (October to Ostern****)
**** Ostern=Easter - aren't you learning lots of vocab?